Please… Don’t Screw Up Your Kids!

Divorce… uncoupling… breakups… they’re all difficult regardless, if you’re dating, engaged or married. The biggest challenge comes when kids are involved. It might be tempting to talk things through with your kids… I beg of you… resist! Find yourself a good friend or therapist… but don’t get in the habit of sharing adult couple issues with your kids.

I split from my children’s father when they were very young. It would have been easy to vent to my friends when the kids were around… thinking they’re small, they won’t know what’s going on. Well, little ones have big ears… they hear you... they absorb… they don’t really understand and can internalize your sadness and frustration. You can do so much harm by making snide comments about your former partner in our child’s presence.

So, whenever you’re about to verbalize anything negative about your child’s other parent, stop and make sure they are nowhere near… make sure they’re at a friend’s house… at school… not even in the house. Keep your conversations private and only have positive comments about the other parent when the kids are around. Sometimes you have to fake it till you make it… but by insulating the kids (no matter how old), you are doing them a huge solid. Let them have positive views of BOTH parents by keeping it kind!